Certificate for Impossible Appliances
This appears to be a gift certificate that exists in several realities at once. Words shift and rewrite themselves before your eyes, promising gleaming appliances that never existed:
"…no home would be complete without…"
"…full washer/dryer combo…"
"…reforms cells endlessly in the comfort of your own home…"
"…rich shag carpeting…"
"…keys that open endless doors between realms of madness and order…"
"…easy-to-clean linoleum…"
You do not think it would be wise to read any further.
(This item can be safely discarded.)
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